Asking for help is never the kind of thing people expect will become a regular feature of their lives.
“No one ever thinks it will happen to them,” says Emily, a 39-year-old single mother of four children. “But it can and it does.”
(Emily is not her real name. Given she and her family have had to endure a court battle with an abusive ex-husband and face more legal hurdles ahead as a result, we have agreed not to use her real name.)
Buoyed by the twin pillars of faith and family, she is keen to share parts of her story as the Christmas season approaches.
It is perhaps a chance to give back something to her community by inspiring others who may not be able to see past their own challenging circumstances.
For Emily and her children, who had to start from scratch, striking out on their own after a marriage breakdown, it’s been a trying experience. But it has also brought them closer together, allowing them to give as well as receive, she says.
Giving is a strong theme that runs through her family, Emily says, noting her children, who range in age from toddler to early teen, have had that value instilled in them.
“We try to help others where we can, to do service in the community in order to be a part of the community,” she says. “And at Christmas, it’s about that kind of giving, sharing and being with family.
“My kids are not all about gifts. Their gift is often about giving to others or doing things for other kids.”
Emily’s family will benefit this Christmas from the Times Colonist Christmas Fund program. She says it will definitely make a difference this year and ensure the family — which now includes a fiancé who has five children of his own — will be able to come together to enjoy Christmas dinner and each other’s company.
“Christmas is very tight, but Santa will be here this year,” she says.
“We will pull names from a hat for each of the children.”
Emily says they will put a $10 limit on a gift for each child and ensure it’s something they really want.
“But what’s important is that we are all together, we all have each other and can make it work,” she says, noting the most important thing is that the family unit is intact as a support network as well as a source of friendship and companionship.
She credits that support network with helping her make a new start of things when her marriage disintegrated.
“I had great support from family and friends,” she says. “If I wasn’t backed with family support, I think I would have been more beaten up. I was scared, embarrassed … I didn’t know where to go.”
But her support and her Christian faith allowed her to bounce back.
“I got help and I did bounce back quickly,” she says, adding that that was a necessity.
“Life goes on and it goes fast and when you have kids growing up, you have to be an inspiration — they look to their parents.”
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