Wake up! The purpose of Zen Buddhism is to awaken to this life and be of benefit to all beings. We go about our days mesmerized by our thoughts, always looking ahead to what’s next, or regretting what has passed, but rarely just being in the moment. As a student of Zen I’m encouraged to wake up. Be present in my body, feeling thinking and being this moment.
That’s pretty difficult as it turns out. I have lots of painful reasons why I focus elsewhere. Life can be painful, and unless I pay attention it’s pretty hard to sort out, and much easier to distract myself with work, entertainment, food, exercise, anything but this moment.
We’re asked to just let go of bad habits, or let go of the pain. But it’s hard. And I’ve noticed that I can’t really let go of an issue until I’ve mined it for whatever it has to teach me.
Sometimes issues and resolutions come from unexpected places. The other day I brought home a documentary called Shelter Dogs from the library. I thought it might have some cute footage of dogs, and I was curious about all the awards the documentary had won.
So I watched it, and was profoundly moved.
These dogs have a life of the heart. Some are treated very poorly and become dangerous, but others find loving adoptive homes where they flourish. I was hooked on this documentary and couldn’t stop thinking about it.
These dogs had no choice, and were at the mercy of their owners. Unlike them, I have choice, but even though I’m free, and lead a life of privilege, they reminded me of myself.
An image of a dog permanently locked in a very small kennel was stuck in my mind. The dog had become psychotic, and just spun around in circles for hours every day. Sometimes my mind is like that dog, locked in the same negative pattern day after day.
On a happier note, some dogs find loving homes and lead fulfilled lives with their humans, romping and playing, or simply being with them in quiet moments.
I was obsessed with this documentary in a healthy way, just noticing my intense reaction to it and allowing my thoughts and feelings to flow freely, supported by my meditation practice.
Then I found the nugget of truth about myself in the story.
We will do so much for our pets, walk them, play with them, feed them nutritious food, provide a healthy environment for their minds and hearts, and we get so much in return.
I know I would provide a loving home for a rescue pet, but the real question for me was much deeper. The challenge for me is can I do the same for myself?
Will I accept this flawed life of mine, choose to adopt myself, and give myself a loving inner home? Now that I’ve posed the question I know the answer. Of course I will. It will take dedication, and remembering to persevere, but the results will be worth it, because the first step to awakening and being of benefit to all beings is loving oneself.
Soshin McMurchy is a junior priest with Zenwest Buddhist Society (zenwest.ca), and serves as the Buddhist chaplain with the University of Victoria Multifaith Services.She lives with her life-partner Doshu who is also a priest with Zenwest.
You can read more articles from our interfaith blog, Spiritually Speaking HERE
Thsi article was publishe din the print edition of the Times Colonist on Saturday Nov 22
