The other weekend, on the ferry between Nanaimo and Horseshoe Bay, a nice woman handed me a piece of paper, told me she was from a research company and wanted my opinion on the ferry service.
Finally, after riding the ferries twice a week for more than a decade, someone wanted my ideas on how to fix the system.
I've chatted with ferry boss David Hahn and his successor Mike Corrigan many times, but neither had once asked me how I'd fix the ferries. Ha! They probably knew I'd suggest they cut their salaries by 50 per cent.
I have some innovative ideas for making lots of money on the ferries: Casinos. Bingo boats. Loyalty cards. Broadway shows. Pelt-a-politician sailings. Waterslides into the ocean (coupled with lifeboat drills).
I'd introduce a class system. Enough of this class-free egalitarianism. They hose you on the airlines if you want special treatment, so why not the ferries?
First-class ferry fares (which could include valet parking, lobster sashimi and a body massage from a scantily clad masseur or masseuse - take your pick) would cost a small fortune. Second-class passengers would be able to use fast-food restaurants and onboard stores and outer decks and maybe get a haircut in the new onboard hairdressers.
Third-class passengers - travelling Ben Hur class - would work as galley slaves, rowing like crazy below decks while being whipped mercilessly through Active Pass. Think of the fuel savings.
You wouldn't actually call them galley slaves. You'd name it the new ferry fitness centre, with synchronized rowing machines. Give them a Lululemon leotard and promise a group fitness experience and they'll beat a path to your engine room.
So here I was, mulling these brilliant ideas for making the ferries - which lost $16.5 million last year - profitable and exciting, and then I looked at my form.
They wanted to know what I thought of their food service. And how it might be improved.
That day I'd only brought an apple with me to eat on the journey, but I've had my fair share of Sunshine Breakfasts and Spicy Ultimate Crunch Combos over the years, so I felt qualified to weigh in.
Some criticize the food on the ferries but they've come a long way from the Sunshine Breakfast minimalism of a decade ago. Sure, the predictable White Spot burgers are still hugely popular, but now you can get sushi, noodle boxes and increasingly innovative options.
The buffet on the main runs is outstanding, with chowders, salads, creative entrées and enough desserts to do your blood sugar serious damage.
And the lighter fare is impressive too; not just egg sandwiches but "red pepper egg salad on potato rosemary bread." Fruit sections for $3.99 and ham and Swiss cheese on a Portuguese bun for $6.99.
They've tried to offer healthy options. At breakfast the other morning, you could get the artery-plugging all-aboard breakfast (two eggs, double order of bacon, hashbrowns, toast and preserves) or the smart-start sandwich (an English muffin filled with egg, tomato, turkey, fresh spinach and cheese.)
Some criticize the quality of the food. Sure, it may not be cruise-ship standard, but for a ferry service, serving at high speed, it's pretty darned good already.
The one thing I'd try to do with the food service is the one thing I'd seriously try to do with the ferry service overall: Work harder to make it more affordable for everyone. Singles, seniors, families, groups.
The fares on the main routes, and even on the southern Gulf Islands, make me wince these days.
I know cutting fares is easier said than done. And working out an affordable and efficient ferry service - where everyone's a critic - must be a nightmare.
Fewer people are riding the ferries these days because it's become too expensive. As the ferry service grapples with a future of reduced sailings on smaller routes, it should also continue to look at ways to get bums in seats.
If my casino idea won't fly, try slashing fares - really slashing fares by up to a half - during off-peak times. Offer family rates. And every now and then, give a surprised family at the ticket booth a free pass. That would make the ferry food taste much, much better.
