Raymonde Elder was a beautiful, sweet, caring person who was loved by everyone who met her, her grieving family said Monday.
The Langford woman was found dead in her Selwyn Road home at Arbutus Ridge Estates mobile home park last week. Her son, Ryan Robert Elder, was arrested and has been charged with her second-degree murder sometime between Dec. 25 and Dec. 31, 2021.
Raymonde, who owned a cleaning company, was going to celebrate her 60th birthday in March. She was one of five siblings who emigrated from Scotland to Victoria with their parents in 1967.
“She was loved by a lot of people,” said her older brother Alex McEwen.
“She wouldn’t hurt a fly. She used to enter a room and the place would light up. She was so funny. We used to have some great laughs together.”
Raymonde loved her animals and was a happy person. She remained close to family members in Scotland, even with the distance, he said.
“She didn’t have a mean bone in her body,” said her younger sister, Denise McEwen. “This is so unfair. She always helped everybody. She gave way more than she received.”
Her son Ryan struggled with mental health issues. Raymonde let him stay with her, but she needed support from the mental health system. There were no options for him and no help, said Denise.
“There are so many kids like him everywhere. As a family, we tried to do as much as we could, but you can only do so much. If you don’t have a support system backing you up, you’re left with a revolving door,” said Denise.
“It’s gut-wrenching. I don’t know what can be done. We’re just another statistic. Other families have gone through this and there doesn’t seem to be help for anyone.”
Raymonde would do anything for her son, said Alex.
“Ryan loved his mum and she loved him. That’s why he was living there. That’s why she let him stay.”
The police were called numerous times but did nothing, he said. “This is one of the things I’m mad at. This could have been prevented.”
Alex started to realize something was wrong when he received a call from a friend saying Raymonde did not show up for work. He called her landline, her cellphone and her son’s phone but got no answer. Then he called the RCMP and asked them to do a wellness check. He heard back from them two or three hours later.
“I knew right away something was wrong. I had a feeling. We’re very close through all the years and I could just tell there was something wrong. But you never suspect anything like this. It’s like a living nightmare,” said Alex.
Ryan Robert Elder will remain in custody at the Vancouver Island Regional Correctional Centre. The charges against him were sworn before a judicial justice of the peace during a telebail hearing on Jan. 1.
Victoria lawyer Claire Tollefson, who acted as duty counsel for him that day, explained that under Canada’s criminal code, anyone charged with murder must be detained.
“He’s in custody unless-until he brings a bail application in B.C. Supreme Court and it’s successful,” she said.
The matter has been adjourned until Jan. 20 to allow Elder time to retain a lawyer. A psychiatric assessment has not been ordered “as yet,” said Tollefson.
“I’m sure once he gets counsel, they’ll consider all options,” she said.
Raymonde is survived by her mother, two brothers and two sisters.
The Vancouver Island Integrated Major Crime Unit is in charge of the investigation. Anyone with information about the death is asked to call the Vancouver Island Integrated Major Crime Unit information line at 250‑380-6211.
