“Hey, we’re pretty much married!” Geoff Cooke texted his girlfriend.
Cooke had just watched a newscast on B.C.’s new Family Law Act and realized that he and his long-term girlfriend, Hailey Smith, were, in almost every legal sense, married.
When Smith got the message at the gym, she laughed and showed it to a friend.
“Now he has to give you a ring,” her friend said.
Marriage was always in the cards. Cooke and Smith, both 25, started dating at 19 and quickly moved in together with no discussion and little thought of “what if this doesn’t work out.”
But under the new Family Law Act, which grants couples who have lived together for two years the same rights and obligations as married couples, Smith’s student debt is now their debt. Cooke’s motorcycle is now their motorcycle. And if they were to break up right now, Cooke stands to lose more financially.
“For us, it’s not that big of a deal,” Cooke said. “When we get married, technically the debt becomes mine and I accept it because I’m making a conscious choice to marry [Smith]. But now, I have not made the conscious choice and I have to accept it.”
Neither are interested in signing an agreement that allows cohabiting couples to opt out of the new act for fear it could hurt their relationship and each other.
One of the problems with the new legislation, they said, is that couples, especially young couples, have trouble sitting down and talking about these issues.
“Just having the discussion could ruin a lot of relationships,” Smith said. “It makes it more of a reality. That discussion — do we want to opt in or out — makes the relationship more challenging.
“You’re living together for six months or a year. Then all of a sudden, it’s two years and everything you’ve accrued in the last two years is shared. But you’re still both really independent people and you don’t know if you want to stay together the rest of your life or even for the next couple of years,” she said.
“If Hailey and I started dating today, I would think a lot more about actually moving in with her,” Cooke said. “If I was going to move in with someone now, I’d be watching the two-year mark a lot more closely just in case.”
Cooke and Smith accept the fact the new act protects people who previously had no legal rights in long-term, common-law relationships. But they believe it’s failing young couples by putting too much pressure on them.
“Two years is way too short and there should be an age restriction on it, maybe if you’re 25 or older,” Cooke said.
