There has been much hue and cry about the closing of the Bengal Lounge at the Fairmont Empress Hotel.
That’s because the tiger-skinned, leather-chaired, wood-panelled decor transports us to the good ol’ days of the British Raj. You know, back when England ruled India from the mid-19th century to 1947.
Ah, what larks.
We Victorians (well, some of us) are awfully fond of the British influence on our fair city. And what could be more English than a restaurant/cocktail lounge that recalls the colonial reign described so delightfully in E.M. Forster’s A Passage to India.
However, it’s clear the Bengal Lounge is to be scrapped. We must accept it’s time to move on.
No doubt the owners of the Empress are keen for public input. If not the British Raj, what bold new theme might be employed for the Lounge Formerly Known as Bengal?
Well, I have an idea so terrific, it hurts my head. Why not reinvent the Bengal Lounge as a tribute to elderly pop stars who are dropping as fast in 2016 as Bengali labourers who slaved for the British East India Company? Believe me, baby boomers will adore the idea.
This new cocktail boutique could be called Pop Will Eat Itself (a nod to the English alt-rock band, thus retaining a vestige of the British legacy).
It would be decorated like a rich rock star’s mansion: purple velvet drapes, gold records, candelabras, Andy Warhol lithos, autographed guitars, antique leather whips, pumas in cages. Perhaps a taxidermied bear playing a banjo.
Here’s the genius part. As a tribute to departed rock stars, the waiters and waitresses could be costumed accordingly. For instance, in remembrance of Glenn Frey of the Eagles, staff could dress as we remember him in the 1970s: long hair, mustache, football jersey and blue jeans, sunglasses perched puckishly on top of his head.
With the drinks menu, one can really go to town. Imagine being greeted by your Glenn Frey server (male or female, because it’s 2016) who politely asks: “Madame, would you care for a Peaceful Easy Feeling (absinthe, bourbon, bitters)? Or perhaps something stronger, such as our Life in the Fast Lane martini (five ounces gin, two ounces vodka, one eye-dropper of vermouth)?”
How about David Bowie, one of the most influential and gifted pop stars of our time? When it comes to server outfits, the possibilities are almost endless, thanks to his many incarnations. For instance, how would you like the Thin White Duke to serve you a delicious craft beer? And how fun to have Ziggy Stardust patiently describing the artisanal ingredients of a gin rickey.
Deceased rockers who weren’t particularly famous would not be ignored. Yes, they were less known, but certainly not lesser in talent. For instance, the sharp-eyed cocktail imbiber might recognize his/her bell-bottomed waiter as bearing tribute to Gary Loizzo of the American Breed. (Hint: after accepting your generous gratuity, he broke into a rousing chorus of Bend Me, Shape Me!) Ditto for Tower of Power’s Mic Gillette, Blowfly and the drummer from Mott the Hoople.
The boomer generation often complains it doesn’t feel at home in downtown nightclubs crammed with 20-somethings. Too few venues cater to them; too few clubs offer their kind of music.
Not so at Pop Will Eat Itself. Live tribute bands would play baby-boomer hits of the recently departed (not too loud, of course, so one can have a proper conversation).
With this in mind, local musicians would be advised to ready themselves by studying the songs of aging rockers. At Pop Will Eat Itself, I see an especially bright future for a Rolling Stones tribute band. Other strong contenders: the Who, Paul McCartney, Pink Floyd, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan and David Crosby.
Especially David Crosby.
On a more serious note — while it’s completely up to the Empress’s owners how they run their business, here’s an idea. Why not replace the Bengal Lounge with a theme bar-restaurant that reflects the Pacific Northwest’s identity and heritage?
There’s a new boutique hotel in Gastown that features First Nations art in its decor. The Skwachays Lodge has 18 suites, each decorated by aboriginal artists/designers.
Not a bad notion, if you think about it.
