When Victoria’s Austin Peckham goes to parties, people sometimes ask what he does for a living.
The 66-year-old former civil servant explains he sells condoms via mail-order.
“I love the looks on their faces. They’ll say, ‘Oh, we thought you said condos.’ ”
It’s an unusual occupation. For 16 years, Peckham has made a living selling condoms. His company, Condoms Canada (Condomscanada.com), posts them in plain brown envelopes. It’s a boon for people who find it embarrassing to purchase condoms at a retail store.
He believes his company — more or less a one-man operation — is the only mail-order condom business in Victoria. Well, that’s aside from his wife’s mail-order condom business, Condomswest.com. She saw her husband making money and having fun, so also joined the club.
Peckham says there’s only a handful of mail-order condom businesses in Canada. His is one of the larger ones — he caters to thousands of customers annually.
He dropped by the Times Colonist this week with a big plastic box full of condoms. Peckham seems like someone’s jolly uncle; he’s a cheerful, balding fellow who laughs a lot.
There’s more to condoms than one might think. For example, there are extra-large ones and small ones. In a master stroke of advertising diplomacy, the small ones are advertised as “snugger fit.” Presumably because no one wants to ask, “Hey, do you have any of those really small condoms?” Although with Condomscanada.com one needn’t worry about that, because it’s mail order.
There are flavoured condoms (banana, strawberry, vanilla) and micro-thin ones. Some have a naughty devil logo on the pack.
“And these ones,” said Peckham, thunking a boxful on the table, “are studded.”
As you can imagine, condom salesmen are chock full of amusing stories. I imagine that one could spend an entire evening with Peckham while he regales the room with one risible yarn after another.
For example, he once shipped some condoms to a cricket team in Devonport, Tasmania.
“They all ordered licorice condoms. I said to my wife, ‘What’s going on in Tasmania?’ ” said Peckham.
Another time, he received a very big condom order. That is, the order was large, not the condoms themselves. Peckham (living in the Okanagan at the time) was low on stock. So he drove to Penticton to purchase condoms at a big-box store.
To liven up the drive, Peckham invited his friend along. Bill is a stand-up guy, Peckham explained, but he is on the conservative side.
“He wants to stay away from condoms. I said, ‘Oh, just come for the trip.’ ”
At the store, Peckham filled up an entire grocery cart with condoms — enough for a small, sexually active village. At that point Bill badly wanted to leave, as other shoppers were looking at the cart. Then a young sales clerk came over.
“She says, ‘So … you guys are going fishing, huh?’ ”
Peckham laughed, as did I. Because you could imagine the comical expression on Bill’s face.
Not to mention the young sales clerk.
A graduate of Esquimalt High School, Peckham studied political science, finance and commercial law at the University of Victoria. He was a career civil servant whose resumé includes a decade-long stint as a manager in the attorney general’s ministry. But eventually he got fed up with it.
“I didn’t get to use my imagination. I didn’t get to construct ideas and put them to use.”
His first idea was to manage a restaurant. Peckham opened the Westgate in a Williams Lake mall. But the hours were long and the eatery did poorly. So he thought, hey, why not sell condoms by mail?
He surveyed his restaurant customers about the notion. “Most of them said, ‘It’s a good idea,’ ” Peckham said.
It was a good idea. He said selling condoms is the best job he’s ever had. He’ll probably do it until he’s 70. Or maybe even 72.
Condoms bring a smile to people’s faces. At the post office, there’s a German clerk who knows what Peckham is shipping. It’s always good for a chuckle.
“I come in with these packages. Some are large, some are small. He says, ‘Oh, more happy customers, huh?’ I say, ‘You know it!’ ”
