Last weekend, I stumbled across a dusty old book. It’s titled Etiquette for Children: Learning to Behave Upon Starting Grade School, published in 1922.
Just for fun, I flipped it open. And do you know, I couldn’t put it down.
You see, the rules of appropriate behaviour, as set out by the author, Edwina Post (Emily’s British-born and now largely forgotten sister), are so sensible, they seem as relevant today as 93 years ago. Why, even we adults could greatly benefit from Etiquette for Children, no matter where we live, be it New York, Toronto or, dare I say it … the municipality of Saanich.
As a helpful public service, I offer these examples of Edwina’s common-sense wisdom, lifted directly from her book.
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL: For any child, beginning school for the first time can be bewildering, even frightening. Will everyone like me? Will I like them? Perhaps I’d rather be at home than in a scary institution with people I don’t know.
The first rule to instil within your little lad or lady is “Make an effort to play well with your playmates.” Certainly, shyness must be avoided, conversely, there’s little point in conducting oneself like a wee tyrant. Nobody likes a bully; it’s awfully bad form. Advise little Ronnie or Rachel to be moderate in his/her demeanour, and to be quick with the phrase: “Say chums, being awfully new to school, I’m not sure how to comport myself — what do you advise?”
BEING A FUSS-BUDGET IS FRIGHTFUL BEHAVIOUR: While bullying is very naughty, no child escapes school without a little rough-and-tumble. For instance, your youngster may find himself being pulled aside, perhaps repeatedly, by other children who may declare: “Hey mister, show me your hall pass!” While this is unpleasant, it’s best not run off to teacher to complain. This merely antagonizes the bullies and earns you unwelcome sobriquet: Johnny Tattle-Tale.
NEVER TAKE WHAT ISN’T YOURS: This is so important. A child may notice a lovely Mars bar on another pupil’s desk. He may think, “Golly, that chocolate certainly looks tempting!” even though a nice, healthful packet of raisins awaits him at home. However, it is essential to avoid taking what is not yours. Yes, that Mars bar looks scrumptious. But alas, little Rickie or Rachel, it is spoken for. Leave it alone.
AVOID FIBS: This is such a vital lesson. Let’s take the example of the Mars bar. Your child has enjoyed an illicit confection. Well, it’s not the worst thing that could happen. After all, chocolate theft has occurred since the Neanderthals roamed the Belgian Congo.
But upon being discovered, your child must not conceal the act with an untruth. It is best to say: “It was I, little Rickie, who scoffed down the chocolate bar, full well knowing it belongs to another!” Heartfelt apologies must then be proffered. Lying cannot be tolerated, as such a vice — if left to fester — only becomes worse in adulthood.
SOMEONE’S STARING AT ME: Occasionally, a very fretful child will burst out with something like: “Teacher, Johnny keeps looking at me. Make him stop!”
Of course, no one is really staring at the child in question. Not really. He or she merely finds himself in the unaccustomed situation of being in a public place. And in such a place, there are more sets of eyes than at home with mommy and daddy. Every well-adjusted person must get used to being observed. It’s just a fact of life, unless one chooses to live as a recluse, away from society’s prying eyes.
So what is going on here? It’s possible little Rickie has an unusually nervous disposition. He is perhaps used to playing alone, where the only set of eyes are those of Teddy the Bear. Teachers are well advised to make sure such pupils get vigorous exercise during recess and lunch hour. I find cricket’s always good.
To sum up, it is essential that you, doting parent, teach your offspring the values that carry them through life. Perhaps little Ronnie or Rachel will grow up to be a policeman, a doctor ... perhaps even the town mayor! The ill-trained youngster — now grown into adulthood — may well succeed in making such a journey. Whether they endure depends how how well they’ve learned Edwina Post’s simple rules of etiquette.
Next week: Should Justin Trudeau grow a cool beard?
