Laughter! It’s often called the best medicine. And for some people, it’s also the cheapest. In fact, it’s as needed as love.
Even the Bible agrees: Proverbs 17:22 “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”
What do we learn from these positive perspectives on humour? It may surprise you, but according to a recent Psychology Today article, humour is considered “a major function in long-term relationships.”
Apparently, it’s men who understand this best. Regarding the role of humour in their relationships, males reported joking more than their female partners did. It’s one of the ways males “advertise their good traits.”
The study also found that “self-enhancing humour is related to greater relationship matching.” In checking out dating profiles, the acronym GSOH (Good Sense of Humour) is often used.
In other words, someone possessing clever humour can advertise intelligence or confidence to a potential partner.
My own conclusion on laughter’s place in our romantic relationships is simply this: Humour both teases and pleases. We need those happy times when both partners just want to enjoy the moment and appreciate their mutual attraction — from sensual awareness to sexual harmony.
I’m not talking about joke-telling as a constant introduction (“Did you hear the one about …?”).
Instead, I’m promoting the upbeat and uplifting humour that envelops a couple in spontaneous laughter, mutual appreciation, warmth, and a shared response to what becomes a gift of love — and sex, too, if there’s the time and place.
Because shared laughter is very sexy.
My own late mother and father, who fell in love at first sight, used to laugh together in the privacy of their bedroom.
Sometimes, however, when a couple is busy with young kids and one or both partners are preoccupied with work, laughter is less frequent. That’s too bad, because couples need that reminder of their loving attachment.
But what about those of us who aren’t studying the science of laughter, but rather, the results which affect a couple currently contemplating a relationship? Here’s the good news: In many long-time unions, love and laughter are commonly part of their closeness. Many couples enjoy simple long walks together, chatting about coming events in the family’s lives, or just relaxing at home.
With my partner, as just one example, he and I can laugh over nothing except the good luck of being together. Our humour becomes infectious, and present even through our busiest times. A funny moment, an awkward interruption, a come-hither look; it’s all part of the relationship.
But there’s more to a loving connection when couples know they’ll still be there for each other.
Consider this report from Bedsider.org, a free birth control support network for women ages 18–29: Laughter isn’t just good for the soul. It’s good for lasting love, not just “fun.” This may be surprising to readers, since romance is much more often discussed aloud than is the quality of sex, during humorous comments.
Still, laughing together does often mark the beginning of a relationship. One study found that women were three times more likely to give their phone number to a guy they thought was funny.
Also, from Bedsider.org: laughing has all kinds of mental and physical health benefits. One study even found that people’s pain threshold, meaning how much pain they can stand, was higher after laughing.
Best news yet: Laughter (along with sex) can get you through the hard times. More from Bedsider: “While it may be nice to imagine that love means rainbows and roses forever, every relationship has ups and downs.” Fortunately, being able to laugh together can help you feel closer to your partner, even when times are tough.
So, here’s some basic truths about laughter and love: Relationships can encounter some very serious problems. There are times of difficulty and financial issues, and nothing feels very humorous. Or worse, there’s illness in the family.
Hopefully, if you’re ever faced with such problems, the background of humour that’s been in your lives will help you see the brighter side of your future, and not too far off.
Why humour and romance both still prevail in relationships that truly matter to you? It’s because laughter is still considered “the best medicine.”
Ellie Tesher writes about relationships for the Star.
