When nine-year-old Lloyd Jones was introduced to his Big Brother, Bill Cairns, nobody imagined they would still be close almost 35 years later.
“Bill has just been the stable guy who has always been there,” said Jones, now 43.
“His family and my family are like a family together.”
Their relationship is perhaps one of the longest of those that started with a match-up from Big Brothers Big Sisters of Victoria.
“Bill ended up retiring to Shawnigan Lake, and now any Jones is welcome anytime up there,” said the Fairfield man, whose parents’ separation when he was a boy resulted in limited contact with his father, who moved to Alberta.
Big Brothers Big Sisters is getting set for its big fundraiser next month at Langford Lanes, with a bowling event called Bowl for Kids’ Sake, where it hopes to raise $40,000.
The money is desperately needed to help with things such as screening volunteers and establishing successful matches.
Last year, the organization received requests on behalf of more than 600 children looking for a match. About 80 per cent are usually filled. Wait time for Little Brothers is usually about 18 months and the organization typically receives double the number of female volunteers as males.
Big Brothers executive director Rhonda Brown said the organization always hopes these match-up relationships will endure. But the relationship between Jones and Cairns was obviously a special success.
“This is probably one of the oldest relationships that have come back to us,” Brown said.
“We initially ask for a one-year commitment but we are always hoping we spark a relationship that lasts a lifetime.”
But it wasn’t a perfect match for the two at first glance, Jones said.
As a boy he liked baseball and lacrosse and was not very interested in school. He was also the middle of three boys being raised by a single mom, and was sometimes in trouble.
On the other hand, Cairns, now 86, has always been an avid outdoorsman and more reflective. He enjoyed fishing, hunting, hiking and skiing, and was never very interested in team sports.
Cairns, a former firefighter, remembers a boy who was a bit of a handful, behaviour-wise. On their first meeting they took a walk along an oceanfront breakwater and just talked. Later, he started taking the boy fishing, teaching him to shoot, even ski.
It never would have happened were it not for the youngest of his two daughters, then attending classes at the University of Victoria. She attended a lecture about Big Brothers Big Sisters and recommended it to her dad.
“She came in and said, ‘Have I got a deal for you,’ ” Cairns said on the phone from his home at Shawnigan Lake.
He recalls it was a time when he was getting large chunks of time off work. His two daughters were mostly grown and getting on with their lives.
“So I had time to spread around,” Cairns said. “But I had Lloyd to draw me here and draw me there, and just to get me out and do different things.”
Jones said being with his Big Brother, learning about the outdoors, learning how to fish, shoot and pilot a boat were things he would likely never even have tried otherwise. Even skiing, on snow and water, were things he never would have done without Cairns.
And the relationship endured.
Cairns visited Jones in Nelson during a year his mother took a job there. Jones got postcards from Quebec when the Cairnses vacationed there.
And after Jones had reached adulthood and left Victoria to live for 15 years in the U.K. working in hotel management, Cairns visited several times.
Over the years, Jones said he grew to respect Cairns for his ability to stick with a job at hand and quietly get it done.
And he remembers a man who always showed him respect.
“He was always just a good ear and he talked to me about a couple of problems I had, but he never really told me off,” Jones said.
“It could have been his place potentially, but it just wasn’t the way things were between us.”
Jones can still remember one of the biggest moments in his life was with Cairns.
He was 17 and had joined the army reserve medical corps. With his first paycheque he paid for lunch at a waterfront restaurant on Shawnigan Lake.
“I got my cheque and then, because I’m paying for lunch, Bill let me drive the boat to the restaurant,” Jones said.
“That was a really big deal for me — ‘I’m buying the lunch.’ It was a bit of a turning tide.”
Spare some time to bowl for Big Brothers Big Sisters
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Victoria is hoping for a big turnout for its annual Bowl for Kids’ Sake fundraiser.
If helping kids is up your alley, corporate teams, volunteer teams and individual bowlers can all register for two hours of bowling fun. Teams must pledge to raise a minimum of $375 and individuals must raise at least $75.
To commemorate Big Brothers’ 100 years of mentoring children in Canada, bowlers are encouraged to come in costume. Prizes will be offered to the best-dressed team.
Food, refreshments and bowling shoes are included with registration.
Bowl for Kids’ Sake takes place April 12 and 14 at Langford Lanes, 1097 Langford Parkway.
Go to bbbsvictoria.com for more information.
