And the winner is: David Hasselhoff, for his guilty pleasure turn as a Baywatch-inspired celebrity lifeguard in Piranha 3DD.
No, this isn't Oscar talk, and we're joking, of course. So was Hasselhoff, whose self-mockery as a washedup TV star hired to make a personal appearance at the opening of Big Wet, an adult-themed water park, yielded the summer's best movie line.
"Welcome to rock bottom," he muttered while gazing at the watery gong show before summoning the courage to reminisce, pose for photos and sign autographs. The movie was an R-rated stinker, but Hasselhoff's spoofery added an element of fun.
No matter how good or bad Hollywood's summer slate of movies might be, the one thing we can count on is a batch of memorable movie quotes. Some are inspired, witty or thoughtprovoking, and many cringe-inducing, but Hollywood's hot-weather season wouldn't be the same without them. Here are some of the better (and worse) from the summer that wasn't.
"The kid's a Communist, the father's a mortician - Does the mother run a leper colony?"
- Woody Allen in To Rome With Love, as a retired opera director ridiculing his daughter's Italian fiancé and his family.
Neil: "Hey, Norman, I don't get why zombies can only eat people. Is it some kind of allergy or something?"
Norman: "I think it's more of an allegory, Neil."
- Oddball who can see dead people, responding to a pal's comment in clever animated spookfest ParaNorman.
"You guys have a clean business, but now when cartels are moving north, they want a Ben and Chon section on aisle three."
- John Travolta's corrupt DEA agent, explaining why it's in the best interest of Ben and Chon, two successful small-time dope dealers who've been paying him off, to play ball with a Mexican drug cartel who want in on their action in Savages.
"Oh, where are my manners? Lori, this is Angelique, Heavenly, Charene and Sauvignon Blanc. I love you girls. You know, somewhere out there are four terrible fathers I wish I could thank for this great night!"
- Crude, smart-mouthed teddy bear introduces Mila Kunis's character to four hookers he's partying with in Ted.
Ted, wearing a suit and tie: "I look stupid."
John: "No you don't. You look dapper."
Ted: "John, I look like something you give to your kid when you tell him Grandma died."
- Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy) as voice of talking teddy bear conversing with Mark Wahlberg's man-child in Ted.
"My favourite shows are Wadiyan. We have our own version of Two and a Half Men. It used to be called Three Men, but one of them tried to steal a grapefruit.
Also, I love program 24. You have it here, but we play it backwards so it has happy ending."
- Sacha Baron Cohen as cheerfully sadistic despot who rules fictional North African nation Wadiya in The Dictator.
"We're going to have a wonderful day. I'm so terrible on the eyes I don't know why I share a bed with you. You're absolutely perfect and, if you want, I'll spend the rest of your life with you."
- Charlie (Dax Shepard), a reformed hoodlum in witness protection, snuggling with girlfriend Kristen Bell in Hit and Run.
"A super sassy salesman sold me Sicilian sausages."
- Zach Galifianakis as Marty Huggins, a swishy congressional candidate, practising speech patterns on a treadmill in The Campaign.
"Oh, shove a throwing star up a Chinese monkey!"
- Will Ferrell as obnoxious and delusional U.S. congressman Cam Brady after being bitten by a reptile in a church full of snakeworshippers in The Campaign.
"My hair could lift a car off a baby if it had to."
- Ferrell's character commenting on his stiff, ridiculously coiffed hair in The Campaign.
Trench: "I'll be back!"
Mr. Church: "You've been back enough. I'll be back."
Trench: "Yippie-ki-yay!" - Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis poking fun at their The Terminator and Die Hard personas in The Expendables 2.
"I now pronounce you man and knife."
- Jason Statham as Lee Christmas, while stabbing a villain in The Expendables 2.
"Rest in pieces!"
- Sylvester Stallone as Barney Ross, after blowing away a baddie in The Expendables 2.
Dr. Feld: "Kay and Arnold, I'm so glad you're here."
Arnold: "Well, that makes one of us."
- A curmudgeonly middle-aged husband (Tommy Lee Jones), reluctantly attending couples counselling with his wife (Meryl Streep) lets the marriage counsellor (Steve Carell), know how he feels about his touchy-feely therapy in Hope Springs.
Bruce Wayne: "So now you're trying to set me up with a jewel thief?"
Alfred: "At this point, I'd set you up with a chimpanzee if it brought you back into the world."
- Christian Bale's eccentric billionaire and title character in The Dark Knight Rises dismisses Michael Caine's good intentions.
Selina: "My mother warned me about getting into cars with strange men."
Bruce Wayne: "This isn't a car."
- Anne Hathaway's Catwoman alter-ego's response when Bruce Wayne invites her into the Bat in The Dark Knight Rises.
"There's a storm coming, Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches, because when it hits, you're all going to wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us."
- Selina (Hathaway) issues a warning to Batman's alter-ego that has real-world timeliness in The Dark Knight Rises.
"It's in your best interest to give me the envelope.
You got a name? Family? People who care if they would see you again?"
- A corrupt NYPD detective (Michael Shannon) threatens a Manhattan bike messenger (Joseph GordonLeavitt) who refuses to hand over a mysterious package he must deliver to Chinatown in Premium Rush.
"Bring me my legs."
- Wheelchair-bound Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames), who lost his legs in the Piranha remake, declares he's ready to take on rampaging piranhas with his weaponized prosthetic legs in Piranha 3DD.
"You were given a Ferrari, and your people treated it like a lawnmower."
- Retired admiral Mark Turso raises hell about out-of-control assassins in The Bourne Legacy.
