Suri Cruise would never wear denim, is on the Dukan Diet and considers Jay-Z and Beyoncé's daughter, Blue Ivy, a rival.
Not the real Suri Cruise, daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but the one written about in a snarky blog - and now book - Suri's Burn Book: WellDressed Commentary From Hollywood's Little Sweetheart (Running Press).
Behind this fictional Suri, who is more Blair Waldorf of TV's Gossip Girl than six-year-old Suri, is Allie Hagan.
About 18 months ago, Hagan thought she had an idea for a fun hobby: writing a humour blog from Suri's perspective.
"Every once in a while on my personal Twitter account I'd make little jokes about what Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was wearing or what Suri was up to, and a friend suggested I start a Tumblr account with that kind of humour about celebrity families," the 25-year-old Hagan, who lives in Washington, D.C., said in a recent interview. "I knew that if I wrote it from my own perspective, it would come across as unnecessarily mean, possibly creepy. So I tried to think of a different angle."
Typical posts have a fictional Suri commenting on the outfits of other celebrity children or seeming utterly embarrassed by her parents.
One topic Hagan ditched the cynicism over was the recent split of Suri's parents. Her website had the highest traffic ever on the day Holmes announced she had filed for divorce from Cruise.
"I felt a lot of pressure because even though I think a lot of people saw it as a humorous kind of huge pop culture event ... I still see [Suri] as a girl whose parents were splitting up and I didn't want to make fun of that," she said.
The resulting post, written as Suri, led with, "Please respect my privacy during this difficult time. (Just mine though - everyone else is fair game.)"
Hagan recently quit her job as an education policy consultant and is now a full-time writer. She says with so much attention placed on Hollywood kids, the possibilities about what to write seem endless.
>> Allie Hagen's website is alliehagen.com
