I was a boy raised on cats in hats and brothers solving mysteries Given a book that was old before I was young Pages worn with coffee and tears With a story so far from what I knew
But I fell inside, and the pages I held, held me My skin prickled with the dry heat My tongue was Ozark dust Helping Papa in the fields Muscles sore, pride soared
But my dreams were of dogs So I breathed life into them Where I found drawn out days and lingering nights Training and hunting, three of us a pack Moving among the sycamores with bonded grace
But I learned grace can be fleeting And nature indifferent Though imagined, it was my first taste of real loss And beauty When I saw a fern, sanguine, grow where my hounds lay
Emerging from that place Having added my wear on those last yellowed pages I began to wonder, what if I hadn't gone out that night What if I could go back, would things be different
So I fell back in, back to a boy yearning for dogs
Today: Assignment 2
Today we present the results of the second assignment for the four finalists in So You Think You Can Write.
On this page, you can read Nick Clewley's entry, I Was Billy Coleman, which our three judges gave the highest score. The judges' comments on the poem are at right.
This assignment challenged our competitors with a different form: Write a poem about your favourite book, a book that inspired you to write or your most memorable book from childhood.
To read the three other finalists' work and vote for your favourite, go to timescolonist.com/writingcontest.
Readers' favourite, week 1
While the judges gave Pat Parker top marks in the first assignment, for his war story Disarmed, you chose a different favourite.
Fiona Luo received about half of the total 217 votes cast in the readers' choice poll.
Next week: Assignment 3
Every conflict has a black side and a white side. It's in the grey middle where elements from each side are "correct" that the emotion lives.
Write a creative non-fiction piece about a real conflict from history, exploring that grey middle. It can be an essay from your point of view, a narrative, an opinion piece, etc.
Choose any sort of conflict - for example:
? A war;
? The fight against polio;
? The impact of European settlement in British Columbia;
? Pepsi vs. Coke.
Two clear sides, but the piece should dive into the grey areas in between. Word count: 1,000 to 1,500.
Check next Sunday's Times Colonist to see the results.
POEM'S DELIGHT IS IN THE DETAILS
Our So You Think You Can Write judges weigh in on Nick Clewley's second-week winning entry for poetry, I was Bill Coleman.
Matthew Hooton
What I like:
The form is loose, but the language is controlled and measured. The poem is full of specifics, full of tangible details like "pages worn with coffee," the speaker's skin prickling, the sycamores, the "sanguine" fern and "those last yellowed pages." The author has clearly engaged with the assignment, and managed to create a piece of art that transcends the exercise. Also, I absolutely love the concept of an imaginary event creating an emotional reality - isn't this the true beauty and terror of literature?
What I'd like to see more of:
Perhaps some attention to line length and the form of the poem in general. How do the line breaks work to further individual images and the piece as a whole? I was also slightly confused by the lack of punctuation. How is this helping readers engage with the poem.
Questions (not necessarily to answer, but to think about):
1. Does one need to have read Rawls' book to understand the poem?
2. How does the poem's form match the content?
3. What is gained/lost by omitting punctuation?
Janet Rogers
I really loved this poem, however the only critical comment I have is I thought the title could have been more creative. It's great to compose a clever, poetic, piece of writing, but give yourself permission to be just as creative and clever with the title of your poetry.
Not only is this good writing, I enjoyed that the writer put so much of himself in the piece. I enjoyed the confessional tone of the poem with lots of details to make it ring true. Appreciated the visual "pages worn with coffee and tears." The writer expresses how the book/story affects them physically and emotionally. Proof that they dug deep within themselves for this poem and that is bold and always produces "good writing."
Dave Obee
This poem takes us through time and place, setting the scene in two different ways. I like the way that it reminds us that there were readers before us, and will be readers after us.
It also makes us think - its meaning is not on the surface, but is deeper.
My greatest concern is continuity. When I read about "that night," I did not get the reference. Which night in particular?
Does this stand on its own, or would a reader need more exposure to Billy Coleman to truly appreciate it? It is more of a teaser than a standalone poem.
For the judges' comments on our other three writers, go to timescolonist.com/writingcontest
