We sometimes spend hours talking to people without it amounting to anything concrete. Those conversations have the potential to build community and friendships, and we need to have them to feel we are part of the society. Small talk helps us connect with people safely without offending or contradicting them. That is why in many countries people talk about the weather — which to visitors seems strange, irrelevant, and a waste of time.
As people get used to making meaningless small talk as a means of connecting, they’re also forced to tolerate and observe conversations that are hateful, divisive, and hurtful. These harmful conversations are mostly based on the supremacy of one political view, ideology, race, religion, and nationality over others. These subjects and many more have been used to put one set of people down by criticizing them so that they feel good about themselves. Observing these conversations is so painful that I’ll take meaningless conversations about the weather at any time.
The art of meaningful conversation is being gradually forgotten and has become a rare commodity. Humanity seems to be losing its way of communicating with each other and is choosing confrontation instead. Hurtful words are often used to inflict the most harm to the opposite views. The Baha'i Writings remind us about the importance of being courteous and sensitive in choosing our words while addressing others.
“Every word is endowed with a spirit, therefore the speaker or expounder should carefully deliver his words at the appropriate time and place, for the impression which each word maketh is clearly evident and perceptible. The Great Being saith: One word may be likened unto fire, another unto light, and the influence which both exert is manifest in the world.” - Baha’u’llah
Social media, with all its benefits, has given a new dimension to this problem. It provides an avenue for anyone to say whatever comes to their mind under the pretext of "Freedom of Speech." As a result, some people have replaced logic and common sense with erratic emotional outbursts that achieve nothing except creating pain and hate.
The other side effect of this phenomenon is when people reject any logical and scientific idea which does not coincide with their views by labeling it "fake." Though misinformation and propaganda have been part of media since the beginning of newspapers, only recently has now reached its highest peak. It has entered areas of life that were untouched before.
By calling other points of view “fake,” we escape the chance of learning something new or finding a new way of looking at the issues, and that will lead to a war of words. These warring parties fight a bitter battle of conversations as if they are on the battlefield having one goal: the destruction of the other's point of view at any cost.
What we need is:
“…with words as mild as milk [and] with utmost leniency and forbearance so that the sweetness of his words may induce everyone to attain that which befitteth man’s station.” -Bahá'u'lláh
The world is going to destroy itself if it continues to tread in this path of inability to have a meaningful conversation. We need to see each other not as enemies instead of fellow human beings and be forgiving in dealing with one another.
They say from the clashes of ideas comes the spark of truth. However, the problem lies in bringing the ego into the conversation, and then it becomes the clashes of egos rather than ideas, and that leads us to conflict and hatred.
Badi Shams is a Baha’i and a mystic at heart, whose field of interest is in economics. He has published a compilation "Economics of the Future", and also more recently the book "Economics of the Future Begins Today". He is retired from the educational system. You can read more of Badi's materials on his website www.badishams.net
You can read more articles on our interfaith blog, Spiritually Speaking, HERE
* This article was published in the print edition of the Times Colonist on Saturday, October 3rd, 2020
Photo by Xavi Cabrera on Unsplash
