They lost their son to drugs, lost their independence to drugs, but over three decades they’ve never lost their love and need for each other.
At Christmas time, it’s all that matters.
“We love each other and care for each other,” said Greg Holben.
“As long as we’re together, that’s the main thing.”
Holben, 57, and Tracy Harris, 58, have lived at Our Place Society at 919 Pandora Ave. for about five months.
They are on the top floor, reserved for people regarded as stable and in recovery. Neither has done illegal drugs for three decades, opting to stay on prescribed methadone.
Harris still drinks. Holben doesn’t. He kept the couple’s pact to quit drinking before the birth of their son Michael (Mikey) Damian Holben in 1987 — a pact that allowed them to keep their son.
Like most parents, they wanted to do the best for their child. But addicted to drugs and alcohol since they were teens, the best they could offer was a life of dependency, poverty and insecure housing.
Michael died on May 25, 2016, after overdosing on heroin cut with fentanyl. He was found at the bottom of a stairwell in the 700 block of Fort Street.
“It was a slap in the face,” said Harris.
“It’s pretty hard, still,” said Holben.
A picture of Michael hangs on Holben’s wall along with a cloth Metallica poster, signed by friends at his funeral.
Holben and Harris say they tried their best, providing permanent housing on Cairn Road in Esquimalt for 15 years and in a Colwood motel for nine more.
Until Michael started overdosing — “four times before he went down for the last time” — they thought that he was only smoking marijuana and drinking.
“He was more concerned about taking care of us and making sure we stayed on the straight and narrow,” Holben said.
Michael didn’t finish high school. His parents said he had a variety of jobs, including as a security guard in a hotel. He mostly loved music, all kinds. He wanted to learn to cook.
Holben, who grew up in Northern Ontario, and Harris, who grew up in Montreal, say they also came from homes where they were exposed to some addiction. Before the age of 10, Holben was experimenting with pot and drinking with his older brothers.
Both were out of the house as young teens and on the street with Grade 8 educations.
They met in a bar as addicts in Victoria. Harris was drunk. They married on Nov. 23, 1985.
If there’s a glimmer of Christmas magic in their tale, it’s that they are now housed.
And they are still alive and together, despite the rocky road of drugs and alcohol, prostitution, jail time, hospital stays, and homelessness.
At Our Place, Holben and Harris each have a room with high ceilings and bright windows. The comfort these walls and bed bring is tangible.
They have a shower and three meals a day. They don’t take it for granted.
Both are physically weak. Holben has progressive lung disease and shakes, while Harris uses a wheelchair five months after a hip replacement.
The couple struggle to remember even the most important dates and facts — where they lived, when their son died, or where he went to school.
It’s evident that they wouldn’t survive the streets any longer — although some just like them are trying to do just that.
Only two years ago, they were sleeping on mats in shelters such as First Metropolitan Church, in line each night to get space to lay their heads.
Holben was at Salvation Army and Harris at First Metropolitan until they got into Our Place.
“It’s amazing,” said Holben. “We are so happy just to have a place to call home.”
And all they need for Christmas is more of the same.
“We don’t need presents,” said Holben. “Being fed and having a bed and being together all the time, having all that, is wonderful.”
On Christmas Day, Our Place residents will get a dinner of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, thanks to the help of a donor.
Holben and Harris, no doubt, will be looking for a table for two.
How to donate
The Times Colonist Christmas Fund helps people in need in Greater Victoria through the Salvation Army and the Mustard Seed Street Church. It also provides financial help to Our Place Society.
• Go to timescolonist.com/donate. The site is open 24 hours a day and provides an immediate tax receipt.
• Mail a cheque, payable to the Times Colonist Christmas Fund Society, to the Times Colonist Christmas Fund, 2621 Douglas St., Victoria V8T 4M2.
• Use your credit card by phoning 250-995-4438 between 9 a.m. and 1 p.m., Monday through Friday. Outside those hours, messages will be accepted.
