Is marijuana as good as its reputation for treating painful conditions? Many years ago, I suffered a neck injury in Japan that resulted in chronic pain. I decided to try medical marijuana, as painkillers, acupuncture, chiropractic treatment, and massage have had no effect. So what happened?
During my first visit to the marijuana clinic, I was surprised when asked to provide a urine specimen to prove I was not taking illegal drugs. I’m 94, a doctor, have lots of grey hair, walk with a cane, and was tired after fighting Toronto traffic. So I asked the receptionist: “Do I really look like an addict?” This tack didn’t work. I did as I was told. But what a waste of taxpayers’ money because some people are dishonest! It’s costing millions.
I advised the doctor I was not interested in THC type marijuana that produces an emotional high. I just wanted pain relief from the CBD type. Nor did I want to smoke marijuana. So I was started on a marijuana oral oil to be taken twice a day. The result? Nothing. I might as well have been drinking water.
I was told not to worry. Patients, the doctor said, are always started on a low dose. This is a sensible precaution. So for several weeks I used a larger dose, thinking that my marijuana receptors would finally react. But in the end, a rum and diet coke before dinner brought the usual slight relief from pain. After all, better some relief than no relief.
Again, I was told not worry. My doctor advised that in some patients it was necessary to add a small amount of THC to the CBD to obtain relief of pain. I admit I did not like the idea, but when you’re in pain, even snake oil is acceptable. So now what happened? Not even one per cent relief. So I decided on my own to increase the dose. Again, no effect. On informing the doctor what I’d done, I learned I was one of those cases in which marijuana would not work. So this time, I decided on a glass of chardonnay with dinner. It helped!
After several weeks, a contact informed me that he knew another company that manufactured a high-potency CBD. This time I thought I’d hit the jack pot. I would be providing my marijuana receptors with both the oral oil, plus a marijuana cream for the affected area. So? Zero relief of pain!
Again I was told not to worry. There was another stronger oil and marijuana cream. I tried them for several weeks. What happened? I had to buy another bottle of wine.
So, could alcohol be the answer for me? I’m not telling tales out of school. It’s known that the former Queen Mother Elizabeth enjoyed a drink of gin. During a TV interview, one of her aristocratic friends was asked: “Have you ever seen her drunk?” The reply? “No, but I’ve never seen her completely sober, either.”
Why this story? Because the former Queen Mother was well loved and had led a long and productive life. So, if a little gin helped her, why not me? But a few glasses of chardonnay a day only eased the pain momentarily, far from a cure. Besides, I did not enjoy being “partially sober.”
This column is not intended to denounce medical marijuana. It’s obviously a godsend to others suffering from a variety of painful conditions. And no doctor can provide the answer to why my marijuana receptors failed to respond. Could it be age? Possibly, as everything becomes less efficient with each passing year.
Whatever the reason, I’ve run out of marijuana options. It might be that another company has a Super CBD that would work, and if so, I’d like to hear from it, as it could help others suffering from chronic pain.
Sir William Osler, professor of medicine at McGill and Johns Hopkins universities, once remarked: “Only the doctor who has the disease really understands it.”
Now I know what his sage advice means!
