Afew weeks ago, as I pushed through the one-month mark since
my husband left on a military deployment, one of my children started coughing in the mornings.
Isaac is a tough kid and is rarely downed by anything for long, but I knew what was on the horizon. I was about to get sick. Two days later, I was in bed with a sore throat, coughing, sneezing, a fever and an upset stomach.
I had to get through a week of mornings, suppers, activities and weekends while wishing I could just curl up on the bed and not move. I know this is even harder for stay-at-home parents with little ones, since you can't schlep your healthy little monster off to daycare or school for a while so you can suffer in peace.
Parenting blogger Magda Pecsenye of the advice blog Ask Moxie writes that the worst part of being sick as a parent is you never really get to turn off: "Even when, technically, you've taken a sick day from work. Or when someone's 'taking care' of you. Because even if you're in bed, people are still trying to nurse from you, or asking you where their socks are, or wondering what's for dinner."
Here are my tips on how to survive a short-term illness while wrangling youngsters.
? Lower your expectations about dinner. You are not up to your usual standard. This is the week you order pizza for dinner, and then have mini pizzas the next night, followed by hotdogs and mini carrots on the third day. They'll survive the salt, carb and trans-fat overload for a few days (and will most likely love you for it.)
? Technology is your friend.
I don't usually allow much TV time on weekdays, and computer time is limited to short periods on weekends. When I'm sick, the TV is on a lot, the Game Boys come out and Netflix is on rotation.
? Lean on your kids a bit, especially if they are older. My 10-year-old, Alex, prepared sandwiches, veggies and fruit for lunch for his siblings and himself one day. Eight-year-old Isaac did extra chores, and six-year-old Naomi kept Eddie, our rambunctious toddler, busy for hours. Your kids are more capable than you think and usually want to help.
? Call in the troops if you need to and can. I don't have family living nearby, and my friends all have kids and jam-packed lives, too. I am not eager to share my germs with other people, and therefore am wary of calling for help. Sometimes it's necessary, though. Remember to not take it personally if someone can't watch your kids; they may be able to help in some other way, such as bringing your family dinner.
? For short-term illnesses, a bit of sucking it up is also required (and this is coming from a whiner. Ask my mom.) Yes, you are exhausted and feel gross.
Lie low, drink those fluids, complain about the shortage of cold meds and try to remember this will only suck for a short while.
For those parents dealing with longer-term illnesses, my utmost respect and empathy to you. I was once sick for half a year during pregnancy with hypereme-sis gravidarum, and the memory of that temporary but frightening illness will never leave me.
The only thing I have to offer to anyone with a big health issue is this: I found I needed to decide what my children needed most from me, and what I most needed to give them. What they most needed from me was physical touch and presence. What I most needed to give them was the reassurance I would one day be well. So I focused on hugging and holding them as often as I could take it. I read them books when I had energy for that. I told them over and over my illness would one day end.
As for the shorter-term illnesses, I moan and complain and cope, as all parents do. And I try to remember to be grateful it's the flu or a stomach bug, and not something worse.
cindy.macdougall@gmail.com
