One of the most common, recurring comments I receive from readers is that I share my perspectives in a way that others can reflect on and not feel shamed.
I never set out writing a column hoping to change someone’s opinion, but I am pleased when people reach out and let me know my column has affected them.
March 21 is recognized as the international day for the elimination of racial discrimination. On Monday, I gave an online presentation for the B.C. Non-Profit Housing Association in recognition of the day.
Racism and discrimination are tough topics, and I had a hard time developing an hour-and-a-half presentation that honoured the purpose, and also felt true to who I am and reflected how I approach life and its challenges.
As I developed the workshop, I was worried that people might think I was being too soft or gentle. I knew I wasn’t going to sugar-coat anything, but I worried that people might have wanted me to be angrier.
In the past, I have faced this critique.
To ease my worry, I created a slide with a large title that read “Disclaimer.” Underneath the slide, it said: “I am annoyingly optimistic. I have my own ways at looking at this topic. You don’t need to agree with me, and my views may be different from yours.”
Don’t get me wrong — there is no place for racism in our community. I also know that if you call someone a racist, they won’t listen to anything you say after.
I believe that if we want to get the intended outcome, we must be intentional with our approach. Is the goal to make someone feel bad, or to enhance our community?
I have experienced racism and discrimination and I have witnessed others experience it as well. It is awful and upsetting, and there is no place for it.
Racism can be loud and visible and overt, such as racial slurs or targeted violence. I’ve received emails with slurs and derogatory comments telling me I don’t have the courage to write about them.
There are other more subtle forms of racism that can be disguised and harder to identify, or to call someone out.
I struggle when I am faced with covert racism because I never know how to respond — because I feel it can never truly be proven. An example of this would be when I took my daughter to a salon and asked for the cost of highlights, and the staff told me that they didn’t think I could afford it and refused to give me a price.
Other times, there are people who say racist things and think they are “being nice.” Many years ago, I worked in a bead store and a woman came in holding a necklace and asked if I knew who had made the necklace. Then she responded with: “You people.” She had a big smile on her face, and I could tell she thought she was being respectful.
These are hard situations for me, and I hope to learn to be better equipped to respond in an educational and respectful manner.
If the goal is to make someone feel bad, it would be easy to do. If the goal is to educate someone and ensure they can learn and grow from the situation, there needs to be additional care.
Charlahuber@outlook.com
