The start of the NHL season is just around the corner, which means it’s also time for the start of the fantasy hockey season. For thousands of hockey fans, that means an incredibly important decision needs to be made. No, not who to pick in the first round of the draft: your fantasy team name.
Your fantasy team name is your chance to show everyone else in the league just how clever you are or, alternatively, how much you like dirty double entendres that are so obvious they may as well be single entendres. Or, in the case of my friend who named his team #SticksOutForHarambe, how much you love memes.
You might be struggling to name your own team, which is a bad sign for the season ahead. Studies show that the success of your fantasy season heavily correlates with the quality of your fantasy team name. That’s a Tru Fakt™.
So here are 20 terrible Canucks-themed fantasy team names for your terrible fantasy team. If they don’t fit in the character limits of your chosen fantasy provider, that’s their fault, not mine.
1. I can’t believe it’s not Sutter
2. Paddington Baertschi
3. A Granlund Don’t Come For Free
4. And the horse you Rodin on
5. Let’s do the Jannik tonight
6. Doamkin or Donotamkin; there is no Tryamkin
7. Marky Markstrom and the Funky Bunch
8. The hardest Hutton to Hutton
9. Get fibre with Gud bran, son
10. Ryan Miller Band
11. We smoke raisins but they just Etem
13. Gaunce with the Wind
14. Luca’s Pasta
16. Alex S. Burrows’ Naked Lunch
17. Spray Tanev
18. “Loui, Loui: Oh Baby,” said Bob Cole
19. Gudbranson, Badbranson: I’m the guy with the gun
20. Get in my Bedler
