One of Bowen’s newest residents doesn’t even know he’s coming here.
Over Christmastime, Islanders Michelle and Matthew Harrison were matched with a five-year-old boy from an undisclosed country in Africa (the country doesn’t want its name mentioned). The couple was on an adoption list for about three years before the match came through.
“We were supposed to travel in March-April to go and get him and our family was going to go for a month and spend time in his country and work on bonding with him and just be together as a family,” said Michelle (the Harrisons have another 13-year-old son). But then COVID hit.
“Shortly after that borders started closing and the border to the country closed,” she said. “We haven’t been able to get to him. We don’t know when we’re going to get to him.”
While it looks like there could be flights in June, questions of borders and differing quarantine protocols add a layer of uncertainty. As it stands, it looks like just Michelle will go and she could spend two and a half months in quarantine as she travels to and from her son’s country.
“There is another mom who will be traveling with me who’s also picking up her children,” says Michelle. “So that’s a bit of a saving grace because we’ll have each other to travel with.
“We’ve never met but we talk every day.”
Under the original plan, the family was supposed to spend their new son’s fifth birthday together but instead they held a birthday party for him here. “It was sort of this bittersweet,” said Michelle.
“I think the one thing that I’m thankful for is that he doesn’t know about us yet,” she says. They don’t tell the children until the parents’ travel is booked. “It’s this really sad thing of him not knowing that there’s somebody out there waiting for him. But also…his little five year old brain isn’t waiting on somebody who’s not coming and doesn’t know why they’re not coming.”
“We know that he’s safe. We know that he’s well taken care of. We know that he’s nurtured,” said Matthew. “But it’s just prolonging and prolonging...a whole life to come live [here].”
“The crazy thing is, he’s our son,” said Michelle. “On paper and every document he is a Harrison at this point.”
“I always say to people, if your son was in another country and you couldn’t get to him, you would do everything you can to fight to get him.
“We can’t get him.”
But there’s still the anticipation.
“I’d say there’s a celebration and a euphoria,” said Matthew. “We feel so close to him. And the photos and the videos we’ve gotten…a day doesn’t go by that we don’t mention him 100 times.
“Michelle’s unbelievably diligent every morning just looking through all the news items and talking to people.
“I think kind of quite literally, it’s going to be one morning Michelle’s going to go right, that’s it, I gotta go,” said Matthew. “And then be gone for two and a half months.”
“There’s also the idea that I’m leaving my husband and my other son here,” said Michelle. “I’m leaving one son to get the other but we don’t really have choice.”
The Harrisons connected with a family who adopted a little boy who is their son’s best friend––the two have grown up together and slept side-by-side. “He has a little friend here waiting for him, he doesn’t even know his friend is here, but his friend here knows that he’s coming,” said Michelle.
This other boy’s family travelled to get him just before COVID hit and met the Harrisons’ son. “We get all these little nuggets of gold from them about what he’s like and his personality”
Another little girl nearby was adopted from the same place. “There’s three of them that, they’ll be able to speak their language together,” said Michelle.
“He’s got his brother, his family and his best friend and he doesn’t know he has any of those things,” said Matthew.
The Harrisons’ older son is “unbelievably stoked” about being a brother, said Matthew. “It’s going to be Christmas morning times 1000 when his brother gets here, but holy smokes this is the longest Christmas Eve of all time.”
But the Harrisons note the racism that will differently affect their two son’s lives (their new son is Black.)
“I’m so glad people are speaking up and fighting for racial justice,” said Michelle. “And I hope that in my son’s lifetime we see change towards this because he is one of those people who will be affected.”
“We don’t realize that we have white privilege until one day it hits us on the head and we see it,” she said. “We don’t think that we’re contributing to it in any way, because we’re not out there doing racist things…in some ways we do it without doing it by not saying anything about it.”
“I think about having a Black son and the difference that his life will look like from my other son, and that makes me sad and angry, and the whole gamut of emotions but then I think, Okay, so let’s do something about this.”
“For my nephews, for my brother-in-law for the black men around you, for my son, for all those people who are disadvantaged and can’t speak up for themselves for all the people who are affected by this, for all the mothers who lose their sons and all the little black boys who turn into black men. We have to stand up and fight because it’s time. It’s time. It’s been time for way too long.”
