One of the interesting side effects about having a column in the local newspaper is that every once in a while, a person telling an exceptionally good story will stop and tell me that I can't write about this in my column.
Generally, the content of said story is vastly inappropriate for the column (but not in real life). I do wonder what would it be like to record the second-hand conversations that occur around me.One of my high school English teachers told our class that real dialogue, like the stuff we say to our friends, is not "good dialogue" in a story. If we read dialogue that resembled our real-life conversations, the text would be virtually unreadable (case-in-point: James Joyce's Ulysses).
In my household, all conversations are variations of the same thing. Parents ask the kids if they have done something, and the kids stare blankly into space or respond monosyllabically, over-and-over, repeat, ad infinium.
"How was school?"
"Have you unpacked your lunch?"
"Why didn't you eat your lunch?"
"Is there anything I need to sign?"
"Where is your planner?"
"Where are your library books?"
"Have you brushed your teeth?"
"Why haven't you gotten dressed yet?"
"Where are your ... (shoes, hat, mittens, snow pants, jacket...)?"
"Who's birthday party is this?"
"When is the birthday party?"
"Did I know about the birthday party?"
"Did you do your homework?"
"Where is your homework?"
Their responses vary - not a lot - but largely my conversations at home can only be called conversations in the loosest sense of the word. People are talking - but not necessarily to each other in a way that is understandable.
Gone are my sweet little loveys who chatter on about Thomas the Train or Peppa Pig. In their place are grade school kids: teeth are missing and oversized, hair is all amuck, and there are holes in the knees of every pair of pants because no one wears jeans anymore.
The kids are at the age where they are retesting their boundaries - seeing what they can get away with and what we are paying attention to. We can still call Santa - for now - but that will not last forever.
In the meantime, we are all hanging on, trying not to forget appointments or signed forms.
