Lovely to see how the latest data-privacy breach moved from a dramatic crisis to light entertainment in the space of a week.
The news that the Education Ministry had misplaced a data drive packed with sensitive information about school kids was treated like an Amber Alert when the government ’fessed up to its disappearance last week. There was a serious press conference with sobering details about how hard everyone looked for the thing. Reassurances were issued about how seriously the government takes protection of privacy. Important officials announced major expensive investigations. It was a bit like when Amelia Earhart’s plane went missing.
The impression left was that hell will most certainly be paid.
As all the belated barn-door-locking got underway, the legislature resumed sitting. The passage of a week, and the absence so far of any victims, seems to have encouraged everyone to relax a bit. Because in a half-hour of debate about the scandal, MLAs milked it for more laughs than a night at Yuk Yuks.
Education Minister Mike Bernier opened with a sincere apology for the mistake. When NDP Leader John Horgan noted it was the first time the Liberal benches didn’t routinely applaud a cabinet minister, the Liberals obliged with sustained applause.
“Thank you for your participation,” Speaker Linda Reid noted sarcastically.
The NDP continued by reciting all the solemn promises over the years from government about how “highly protected” student data are. It’s a “top priority” and everyone is committed to safeguarding it. NDP MLA Doug Routley quoted a minister responsible to that effect and said all of the past six ministers responsible for data security have said the same thing.
Bernier popped up again, and got another big round of applause to make up for the missing one. Big laugh. (You had to be there.)
There was a terrifying moment when Bernier defended the collection of the data by saying the School Act requires student records be kept for 55 years. You could see MLAs pausing briefly to calculate the chances of their grades coming back to haunt them. (Pre-emptive disclosure: I got the strap twice in elementary school. There. Data leaks be damned. I’ve cleared the air.)
NDP MLA Rob Fleming took a turn ridiculing the help-line number to which the government is referring anyone who has concerns. “I’m sorry. Telling people to call 1-800-FIND-MY-DATA is not good enough.”
He made up the phone number for laughs, but it turns out it’s an aluminum company in New Jersey. So he’s right, it’s not good enough.
By that point, Bernier had settled into his stride. “Government takes the collection and protection of people’s information and their privacy very seriously.”
He had so little to go on by this point, he actually said: “Our ministry is co-operating fully with the investigation.” He sounded like the president of Volkswagen.
Next up was Advanced Education Minister Andrew Wilkinson.
“How does he expect students and parents to ever trust him?” asked NDP MLA Carole James.
Well, because there are 430,000 students in 25 institutions, and their information is transmitted seamlessly through a fine system and travels smoothly between the schools and helps students “who want to build the economy and lead a life of autonomy and prosperity.”
“Wow,” said James.
Wilkinson also disputed the day’s central premise — that the information is “lost.”
The missing drive is a duplicate, so the actual information is still on hand. “The information has not been lost. The drive has been misplaced. It may be found,” said Wilkinson.
That required a brief time-out for the house to regain its composure.
Debate morphed to the $100-million new MyEducation BC computer system that replaced the last $100-million system. It had glitches on the first week of school and has bogged down.
The official word is that it’s “lethargic.” Like Hal was, in 2001: A Space Odyssey.
The estimate is that it takes 15 minutes to search a file in the new system.
“It takes less time to communicate with Mars,” said NDP MLA Selina Robinson.
If only all the audit and investigation reports piling up on data and computer botches were as funny.
