Ben Nelson may be the only Shakespearean author who knows how to do the Frog Splash.
Don’t know what a Frog Splash is? It’s a wrestling move made famous in the 1990s by bad-guy wrestler Eddie Guerrero (Eddie’s catch-phrase: “I lie! I cheat! I steal!). Basically, you leap from the top rope of the ring with a murderous scream and thunk on your prone opponent.
“I do the Frog Splash. I call it the Final Curtain,” said Nelson, 35, who wrote What Would Shakespeare Say? (It’s not hard to understand the “Final Curtain” designation, given that Nelson is six-foot-one and weighs 230 lbs.)
Nelson, who grew up in Sidney and now lives in North Vancouver, is a professional wrestler. He competes with Elite Canadian Championship Wrestling, a Western Canadian outfit. He has an ECCW match tonight at the Velox Rugby Club, where he pairs off against Scotty Mac. His wrestling moniker is Supernatural Nelson Creed.
I may be going out on a limb, but I suspect the words “wrestler” and “Shakespearean scholar” rarely appear in the same sentence. Yet a perusal of What Would Shakespeare Say? reveals when it comes to the Bard, Nelson knows what he’s talking about.
It’s essentially an introductory primer. Nelson takes Shakespearean quotations and explains them by putting them into simple, contemporary language. He also provides everyday contexts for using them, often in a humorous manner.
For example, take Hamlet’s observation: “Nature cannot choose his origin.” In his book, Nelson tells us this means, in a nutshell, that we can’t help what we are or where we come from. He adds: “You can use it as an excuse for the behaviour of others, such as your dog or child doing his business on your neighbour’s yard.” And, to make sure the reader really gets the message, there’s a drawing of a dog urinating on a sign that says “No dogs allowed”.
In the ring, Nelson is a villain. He likes to rile opponents like Andy “The Dreadful” Bird and Jordie “The Greedfather” Taylor by reading bits of What Would Shakespeare Say? to them. This makes them go into a rage, because no one likes a smarty pants.
“Last time I wrestled, a guy grabbed my book with his teeth and threw it away, you know,” Nelson said.
He also lobs Shakespearean insults at other wrestlers or audience members who boo him.
“I call them a loathsome scab or a misshapen clod or something like that.”
His self-published book, available via Amazon or at Tanner’s Books in Sidney, came out in December. As a wrestler, Nelson (formerly The Battling Bard) has done his Shakespeare shtick for years. The idea is that he is a “Shakespearean actor turned wrestler.”
When Nelson originally told colleagues his notion of a wrestling character — a snooty intellectual who spouts Shakespeare — they advised him against it. They said Shakespeare and wrestling just don’t mix. But hey, that’s precisely the point, Nelson says. That’s what makes him a good bad guy.
Nelson is crazy about the Bard — he’s read all his plays. By day he’s a teacher employed by Bodwell High School, an international school in North Vancouver.
He majored in English and philosophy at Simon Fraser University and also attended Camosun College.
Nelson has wrestled for 15 years. He’s competed in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Phoenix and Korea. He once tried out in Florida for World Wrestling Entertainment, the biggest wrestling company in the world. It didn’t go further than that —Nelson figured he’d be better off as a school teacher.
“But it was great. They put me in a hotel, got me an SUV,” he said.
These days, wrestling is more or less a weekend hobby. It’s fun. He likes the crowd interaction.
Nelson didn’t say it, but I suspect he hopes What Would Shakespeare Say? will help dispel the image of the wrestler as, well … perhaps not the sharpest tool in the shed.
“We know it’s a kitschy form of entertainment that you’re not supposed to think too hard about,” Nelson said. “A lot of wrestlers are intelligent, well-spoken individuals. They just enjoy playing a part just for fun.”
Note: Supernatural Nelson Creed, a.k.a. Ben Nelson, wrestles at 8 p.m. tonight at the Velox Rugby Clubhouse, 3957 Gordon Head Rd. Bell time is 8 p.m., doors open at 7:30 p.m. Admission is $18 and $15.