Family and friends of Julia Wolf, the Saanich single mother who died after a years-long battle with skin cancer, say the 30-year-old drew her strength from her five-year-old son and the will to share with him as many positive memories as possible.
Wolf died at Royal Jubilee Hospital just after 7 a.m. Monday, with two of her closest friends at her bedside.
She leaves behind five-year-old son Lucas and countless loved ones who rallied behind her after years of being misdiagnosed and after she was told she had just weeks to live.
“She is the strongest person I know,” said Nette Martin, one of Wolf’s best friends who was with her when she died.
“She was at peace.”
Lucas was able to say goodbye to his mother on Friday. He’s now in the care of Wolf’s pastor, Chris Synesael, and his wife, Kellee. Tens of thousands of dollars have been raised in a trust fund to support Lucas as he grows up without his mom.
“She knows that Lucas is happy and safe where he is,” Martin said. “Her body couldn’t fight anymore.”
Wolf was 18 when she first went to a doctor about a birthmark on her ankle that had become raised and itchy. Even though she matched her symptoms to a skin-cancer poster on the wall, the doctor told her she was too young to get skin cancer. A series of doctors over the years dismissed Wolf’s concerns as the bump got bigger. It wasn’t until she was pregnant with Lucas that she was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma.
Despite chemotherapy and rounds of treatment, the cancer spread to her lungs, her liver, around her kidneys and in her bones, leaving Wolf weak and in constant pain.
In May, Wolf went to Toronto to take part in trials for a new immunotherapy drug but after an initial consultation, she was sent home without the treatment. Her doctor lobbied the pharmaceutical company and finally got the experimental drug shipped from England a week and a half ago but it wasn’t enough to shrink the tumours.
Another close friend, Elisha Morrison, said Wolf’s cancer battle has always been for Lucas, to give him more time and memories with his mom.
“Everything she did was for Lucas,” she said, “It wasn’t for her. It was to be around longer for him so that he knew that she loved him and she fought for him.”
Wolf was born and raised in Edmonton and her family moved to Victoria in 2000. She has two sisters, Jennifer and Yasmine, and a brother, Patrick.
Her mother, Sandra, said the family is devastated. She said she and her husband, Willie, were constantly hoping and praying that their daughter would beat the cancer.
“She was so young and it’s so heartbreaking. With Julia not being here, I just don’t know how to go on,” said Sandra, who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.
Sandra said when her daughter was growing up, she was a bit of a tom boy and loved trying new adventures. She loved animals, adopted orphaned kittens and once tried to repair the wing of an injured bird.
“She wanted to become a veterinarian one day,” Sandra said. “You could find no other person who was so full of life.”
Martin said Wolf was whip-smart funny and always made people laugh. “She brought out in me the free spirit and taught me to live life to the fullest,” she said.
Despite her illness, Wolf always went out of her way to make sure the holidays were special for Lucas, especially Christmas, Halloween and Easter. She also recorded video messages and left journals for Lucas to watch and read when he’s older.
“She always made sure the big holidays were over the top so he would remember them,” Morrison said. “She did big dinners and presents.”
Halloween was often spent running through the pumpkin patch and corn maze at Galey Farms. The two also loved to visit the petting zoo at Beacon Hill Park.
This Easter was “a huge event” with several Easter egg hunts, egg decorating and lots of sweets, Morrison said.
That memory was one of the last things on Wolf’s mind as she whispered her last words from her hospital bed.
She told her pastor “she loves [Lucas] and to remember he likes to paint Easter eggs, and that was pretty much the last verbal conversation she had,” Morrison said.
Family and friends are planning a private funeral. In lieu of flowers, Wolf wanted people to donate to the Save Your Skin foundation, a non-profit group that raises money for research and awareness about melanoma. (www.saveyourskin.ca.)
