It’s campaign season. Seems a bit premature, seeing as the federal election isn’t until October, but then everything else is early this year, too: strawberries, tomatoes, wasps, sunstroke.
You can tell it’s campaign season because John Duncan is Trumping around the Island, planting seeds the Conservatives hope to harvest this fall.
On Wednesday, the Vancouver Island North MP was at Fort Rodd Hill to announce $33.6 million worth of Parks Canada spending. He also popped up in Langford with funding for an affordable-housing project.
On July 8, Duncan announced $17.7 million worth of projects for CFB Esquimalt.
That same day, he tweeted a photo of himself in Victoria announcing $1.6 million for B.C. Construction Association training programs.
A day earlier, he was in Courtenay to announce $59,000 for the Comox Valley Art Gallery, and to clip the ribbon at a new culvert (really) built with $108,000 in federal fisheries money.
The week before that, he showed up in Parksville with a promise of $3 million for the Englishman River water-supply system and held a news conference in Tofino to highlight a $400,000 contribution to a new water reservoir.
Please, somebody stop him before we end up with another set of McTavish Road traffic/crop circles.
Now, some might find it strange that while Vancouver Island has six members of Parliament, it is only Duncan — the sole Conservative up for re-election — who gets to play Santa Claus. The critics might also complain that the Conservatives are trying to bribe us with our own money.
But then these same people would grouse about us not getting our fair share if the politicians decided to lavish the cash on the voters of Violated Livestock, Sask., or Toronto-Crackpipe instead.
Besides, every ruling party spreads public money around in a highly visible way in the run-up to an election. Doing so is one of the traditional perks of being in power. Do you really think it’s a coincidence that the retroactive cheques for the universal child care benefit, worth up to $520 per kid, will begin showing up in mailboxes on Monday?
The other parties are reduced to describing what they would do if they were in a position to, you know, actually do anything. Being a New Democrat, or Liberal, or Green these days is like sitting in a bar, grabbing strangers and telling them how much of a better trade you could have made for Eddie Lack if you were general manager of the Canucks.
Maybe it’s because they have no ability to engage in blacktop politics that the opposition parties tend to focus on Big Issue stuff like climate change, open government and the environment instead. (Note that the Green Party issued a news release Friday headlined “Greens Advocate for Elimination of Poverty.” Me, too. I also want to cure cancer, grow bangs and ride a unicorn.)
And maybe it’s because they control the public purse that the Conservatives tilt toward the bricks-and-mortar. Remember that in 2008, Conservative candidate Troy DeSouza came within 68 votes of knocking off popular Esquimalt-Juan de Fuca Liberal Keith Martin by promising to build the mythical McKenzie Avenue interchange. (Speaking of which, where is the damn thing? Nine years of Conservative rule and there’s nothing on the Trans-Canada but quasi-feral bunnies.)
Me, I don’t really mind being bribed with my own money. It’s like winning $2 on a $5 lottery ticket, or finding your stolen wallet with the money gone but the driver’s licence and credit cards still there. Something’s better than nothing.
But if the politicians are going to entice the voters in such a manner, it would be nice if they could give us stuff we could actually use: Timmy’s gift cards, U.S. Netflix, cheaper movie popcorn, tomatoes that taste like tomatoes. A hat that doesn’t make you look like a dork. More higher education, less lower back pain, three days of rain and a 77-cent bill for the American tourists to use. You get the point.
The election will likely be held three months from today. It’s almost time to start thinking about what you really want from your government.
