When Dylan Benson brought his newborn son Iver home for the first time, almost three months after the baby was born in a rare medical procedure, he felt the jumble of emotions that every new father feels: Nerves, excitement, relief.
“It’s so nice to have him here and the overwhelming feeling of relief to have him home with me,” Benson, 32, told the Times Colonist on Tuesday, just over a week after bringing Iver home on May 5. “I just hold him in my arms and he just stares and takes it all in.”
But Benson is also feeling the pain of having to raise a child who will never know his mother. His wife, Robyn, died the day after Iver Cohen Benson was born, 12 weeks premature at two pounds 13 ounces.
Robyn was 22 weeks pregnant when she suffered a brain hemorrhage on Dec. 28. In a case that was the first of its kind in Canada, doctors kept her on life support until she was 28 weeks and one day into her pregnancy. Iver was delivered by caesarian section on Feb. 8. Robyn was taken off life support on Feb. 9.
As Benson shared his emotional journey, through news coverage, social media and deeply personal blog posts, people around the world became captivated by a story of life and death, hope and heartbreak — and donated about $202,000 to help Benson raise Iver and pay for his son’s education.
Mother’s Day was especially tough for Benson and Robyn’s parents.
“I’s still extremely raw and difficult for myself and Robyn’s family,” he said. “It’s the loss factor — it doesn’t go away.”
Benson took Iver on his first outing on Sunday, getting flowers for Benson’s mother and grandmother and visiting with Robyn’s family.
Iver spent three months in the neo-natal unit at Victoria General Hospital. Benson and his family would visit every day. He would let Iver’s tiny hand wrap around his finger and watch his boy grow bigger and healthier.
“There’s not enough words to describe all the great things about the medical staff,” he said. “They make you feel welcome … [during] what could be an incredibly stressful and emotional time.”
On Tuesday, Iver was nine pounds, three ounces. He has blue eyes his like father and a hint of red hair like his mother.
Robyn’s friends and family spent weeks decorating Iver’s room the way Robyn imagined it would look: grey and white chevron patterns with yellow accents.
For now, Iver sleeps in a bassinet next to Benson, who is on paternity leave from his job at Revenue Wire, a global e-commerce platform.
“It’s so nice to be able to wake up next to him in the morning,” he said.
Benson was curious to see how his two pugs, August and Moet, would behave with a new baby around. He said for the most part, they don’t notice there’s another human in the house.
Benson laughs at the suggestion that at just three months old, Iver is the most famous baby in Victoria.
He said he’s overwhelmed by the support and love from people across Canada. Iver has received gifts of hand-knitted blankets with his name on them, cards and stuffed animals.
“We’re very fortunate to have so much support from the community,” he said.
Benson said he’s looking forward to his first Father’s Day on June 15.
And he can’t wait for a lifetime of firsts.
“Watching him just growing and, of course, waiting for him to be able to walk and talk. Being able to teach him things, go on outings together and hang out as father and son and best friends at the same time.”
