Dear Lisi: I’m part of a friend group that has been together since university. We met in residence our first year and we have remained friends since. Two of the girls, and one guy are still in school. The other two guys and I are working. One works for his uncle in the construction business and always seems to have a lot of cash on hand. The other guy is in banking, but he just started, so he’s very low-level and only earns a small salary. I have just started working at a marketing firm, also on an entry-level salary.
I’m sure as we all grow up and become adults, the discrepancy in our financial situations will even out, but at the moment, we’re finding it hard to go out as a group of six. Understandably, the students have no money; two of us have a little; and one is rolling in it.
How can we have fun together?
Mixed-up vibe
You are all smarter than your bank accounts. Being together doesn’t have to cost a ton of money. You don’t have to go drinking at a fancy bar or eat at an expensive restaurant. The weather is getting nicer…. time to be outside. Go for a group bike ride and head to a park for a picnic and a game of catch, or ride down to the beach. Soon it’ll be BBQ season and you can have a potluck where everyone brings a dish to share.
Or go bowling. Or find a concert that you all want to attend and get the cheap lawn seats. There are lots of ways to have fun without breaking the bank. Figure it out.
Dear Lisi: I’m going travelling this month with three guys I know from university. We have just graduated and are going our separate ways, most of us starting entry-level jobs in our chosen careers. We realized that we had a few matching weeks of down time and decided to go away together. We found cheap flights and booked our stay through Airbnb. We’ve started discussing what we want to do once we get there (we’re going to three different cities), and one of the guys has informed us that he is on a VERY small daily budget. To be honest, I’m not sure how he is even going to eat on that budget.
How will this work?
Budget Buddies
Similar to the above question, there are lots of ways to have fun and see the sights without breaking the bank. Go on walking tours, rent bikes or scooters and ride around the town, find all-you-can-eat restaurants, enjoy Happy Hour, take public transport, find free exhibits and log into the local app where you can find last-minute cheap tickets to events. And let your friend worry about his own food intake.
FEEDBACK Regarding the unaccountable boyfriend (April 5):
Reader #1 —“The person who wrote about her partner not being as organized as she wants him to be sounds like a control freak. Yes, it helps make life easier and manageable if you are very organized like this woman, but she shouldn’t expect the other person to be that way.
“This behaviour of being so organized could be seen as compulsive behaviour.”
Lisi — Labelling someone a control freak is unkind. She may have control issues, she may have some obsessive-compulsive issues, she may just be hyper-organized. But you’re correct that she shouldn’t expect anyone else to be like her.
Reader #2 — “I realized in the first year of marriage that my husband NEVER went to a doctor, dentist or eye doctor. His response was ‘I’m healthy, why bother?’ I explained he should book a physical and dental appointment at least once a year around his birthday. Then I left it up to him.
“Two years later, his mother asked if I was reminding him. I told her what I told him. She asked him if he followed through. He hadn’t. She reamed him out royally. He has never forgotten since.
“I’ve taught our children that once they turn 18 their health was their responsibility, and to use their birthday month as a reminder to make appointments.”
Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist based in Toronto. Send your questions to [email protected].
