Dear Lisi: Do you think celebrities have celebrity crushes? And would you say they’re the same as “everyday” people’s crushes on celebrities? Also, do you think a regular person has any chance of ever dating their celebrity crush?
Crushing hard
Yes…. And no. Celebrities are simply human beings who have found a way to become famous, either through sports, music, or acting, as some examples. So, of course they can have crushes on other people. Ariana Grande has famously said her first crush was Jim Carrey; Reese Witherspoon admitted to having a crush on Johnny Depp; and Matthew McConaughey revealed his crush on Reese Witherspoon.
Why not? A crush is a crush is a crush … until and unless it becomes an obsession. That’s unhealthy.
And yes, anyone can fall in love with anyone if and when you meet in person. Matt Damon married a woman he met at a bar; Julianna Margulies married a lawyer; and Meryl Streep was married to a sculptor, to name a few partnerships of the famous and non-famous. However, the people we usually end up marrying are those we meet and spend time with, so you need to be near your celebrity crush to have any chance of meeting them, and then spending time together.
Dear Lisi: My niece planned to fly over to visit, and then use my home as her base, while she travels around my part of the world. She’s a lovely girl, smart, ambitious, fun and gorgeous. I was really looking forward to spending quality time with her, and for my young children to get to know her better.
Unfortunately, her flight was cancelled and then delayed, and the new arrival time was midday, mid-work week. I’m in the throes of a big project so the change was problematic, but we both had to go with the flow. I went to the airport to pick her up, and waited, and waited.
She finally stumbled through the doors, on the arm of a young man, and quite inebriated. When she caught sight of me, I guess the look on my face shocked her, because she immediately vomited in the closest plant pot.
I helped her to the car and took her back to my house, where I spent the rest of the day holding her hair making sure she didn’t vomit in her bed. I lost most of my workday, which puts stress on my colleagues and the rest of my week. And I lost respect for my niece.
Do I tell my brother and sister-in-law, or wait and see if this was just a one-off? I’m now concerned about her presence in my home, and her ability to travel without an adult.
What’s my position here?
Aunt in dismay
You didn’t mention your niece’s age, but I’m guessing young 20s, summer travels, in between school years at uni; or perhaps part of a gap year. In my opinion, the world today is not safe for young women to travel alone, to walk alone at night, to stay alone in hotels or hostels. It’s sad and disheartening, but that’s how I feel.
A young girl/woman flying alone attracts the attention of a young man, and they start drinking together. Altitude makes the alcohol hit harder, and now she’s drunk. I’m surprised the flight attendants didn’t pay more attention, but I’m not placing blame.
I suggest you spend a few days with your niece before she leaves. If she is genuinely embarrassed, ashamed, feels remorseful, and behaves as you would otherwise deem “normal,” then give her a break. Youth is the time to make mistakes, learn life-lessons, as long as you’re safe.
But, if she seems different than expected, perhaps calling your brother is a good idea to get a clearer picture.
FEEDBACK Regarding the frustrated husband (Jan. 29; March 18):
Reader – If this husband lives in Toronto, getting ‘actively’ frustrated by complaining to appropriate officials won’t help! I do it regularly and find it only increases my frustration. Bylaws are there only for show (though parking is the one area where the city is willing to rouse itself). And if, God forbid, you should complain about more than one issue, you’ll be labelled a nuisance who can safely be ignored.
Vote? Also, not all that useful, at least when we’re talking about local neighbourhood issues. And if your dissatisfaction involves banks, cable companies and any other large entities, you might as well just bang your head against a wall in anticipation of the relief awaiting you when you finally stop.
Lisi – Your last sentence made me laugh out loud, though sadly, your words ring true.
Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist based in Toronto. Send your questions to [email protected]
