Modern lovers - married, single, alone, divorced or dating - tend to overlook the single best reason for Valentine's Day, say Vancouver Island dating specialists.

It's one thing to say "I love you" with a valentine. But it can be powerfully romantic to use Valentine's Day to say "I am interested in you" or "I am still interested in you."

According to people like Jane Carstens of Matchmaker for Hire, everybody loves it when someone takes an interest in who they are, what they do, what they like or how they like it. And Valentine's Day is one day that provides an excuse to show or reveal an interest.

"To be interested is way better than being interesting," said Carstens, who operates in Victoria and Vancouver.

"Everybody is interesting in one way or the other," she said. "But to be interested, and interested in knowing more about a person, that's very attractive.

"And you don't have to declare 'oh my gosh, I'm in love' with a Valentine's Day card," said the 11yearmatchmaker. "Sometimes the simplest things say the most if you are just showing someone you are interested."

Today is Valentine's Day, the annual day of cards, flowers and romantic dinners. Interestingly, according to online sources such as Wikipedia, nobody completely understands the connection between St. Valentine, an early Roman martyr, and romance. But the connection is longstanding. Geoffrey Chaucer, the 14th-century author of Canterbury Tales, makes one of the earliest known references to St. Valentine and romance.

But the Middle Ages and the days of courtly love are over. Modern romance is now shifting.

In recent years, online dating has taken off, removing a lot of person-to-person contact and making the valentine seem quaint or old-fashioned.

For example, a study titled Searching for a Mate: The Rise of the Internet as a Social Intermediary, by Michael Rosenfeld of Stanford University and Reuben J. Thomas, City College of New York, show a huge surge in online romance.

The study reveals 22 per cent of American heterosexual couples report meeting online. That figure has remained stable over the past four years, after rising sharply beginning in the late 1990s.

But introductions through friends still remains the largest way couples meet. Fully 28 per cent of couples, the biggest single category, report being introduced through friends. That's down from the 10 years spanning the mid-1980s to mid-1990s when 38 per cent of couples reported being introduced.

And even now, meetings in bars and restaurants are a start for more couples than the Internet, with about 23 per cent.

This kind of data reinforces the opinion of dating professionals who still maintain successful romance begins with looking into someone's eyes and feeling that spark ignite, something the online experience can't replicate, especially with a valentine.

"You can chat back and forth online," said Jacquie Brownridge, managing director of Just Lunch, a 25-year-old introductory service operating in Victoria, Vancouver and Toronto.

"But when you actually sit down across from somebody at a table, look them in the eye and you have a conversation, see their body language, you either connect or you don't," said Brownridge.

"It all comes down to that."

While the chemistry is impossible to predict, the odds can be narrowed. And showing an interest in someone is a good place to start.

"If you are at a place like Starbucks or the grocery store, look up and smile at somebody, especially on Valentine's Day," Brownridge said.

And for those already in a relationship, a valentine is a great way to show you are still interested.

According to Statistics Canada, Canadians in 2010 spent $2.3 billion on cosmetics and fragrances, $3 billion on jewelry and watches and $1.6 million on women's lingerie, but Brownridge said her company has its own survey.

It revealed 56 per cent of the women responding said the best valentine would be a chance to do something together.

A gift certificate to a cooking class to taken together, for example, is a great way to say I am still interested in spending time with you.

"It would be nice if we did this all day and every day, but at least there is Valentine's Day that tells you to stop, smell the roses and let the other person know you appreciate them," Brownridge said.

Tamara Hide of Island Introductions said, in general, she is not a fan of Valentine's Day because too many singles get upset because they are single.

"People should enjoy being single," said Hide. "One of the biggest benefits is exploring who they are and what they have to offer."

But she said Valentine's Day, celebrated properly, can mark romance for an existing couple and give single people a chance to reach out.

"If there is one time that people can be brave enough to put it all out there, that they like someone, then Valentine's Day is the perfect time," Hide said.

"Valentine's Day is a really just a reminder that we still love romance."

rwatts@timescolonist.com