Sylvia Browne, the famed American psychic, says I’m a good drummer.
Sadly, this is untrue.
Then again, perhaps Browne misinterpreted the information fed her by her spirit guide, who is named Francine. Perhaps Francine (whom I imagine has wings and shapely legs like Tinkerbell) told Browne, “Adrian is a good hummer.”
Which is quite true. I hum excellently.
Browne is in Victoria tonight. At the Royal Theatre, where the top tickets sell for $125 a pop, she’ll give a talk.
Then she’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the evening, which is answering questions for audience members who approach the microphone.
Browne says she’ll do readings for “two or three hundred people.” Which is an awful lot.
The Guardian newspaper once deemed her America’s most controversial psychic. That’s because Browne, who’s 76, has often weighed in on what’s happened to missing children. And on a number of occasions, she’s been dead wrong.
For instance, she once said a girl named Opal Jo Jennings was forced into slavery and taken to Japan. In fact, Jennings was killed soon after her abduction in Texas. Her murderer was subsequently convicted.
Browne once even weighed in on Michael Dunahee. In 1994, this newspaper reported Browne’s incorrect prediction that Michael was in Torrance, California, and would be found within 18 months.
She also predicted the cure and prevention of breast cancer by 1999.
Of course, Browne has no doubt been right about oodles of other stuff. After all, she’s still in business.
This week, I caught up with her in North Battleford, Sask., where Browne was slated to play a sold-out show at the Golden Eagle Casino. Browne, who commands $550 for an individual reading, graciously agreed to field a few questions from me over the phone.
Recently, I started drum lessons. My question was: “Will I become a good drummer?”
“You’re already a good drummer. You’ll just become a better drummer,” said Browne, who has one of those raspy Marge Simpson voices.
I’m not a good drummer. I’m a terrible drummer who pummels the kit haphazardly in the manner of a chimpanzee who’s eaten too much fermented fruit.
But perhaps my interpretation is too literal. Perhaps Browne used “good drummer” in the wider sense of the phrase, in that (1) I technically play the drums and (2) I am generally kind to animals and try not to forget people’s birthdays.
Asked about predictions that go sideways, Browne had a ready explanation. She said Francine, her spirit guide, always sends her correct info. But Browne, being a mere mortal, doesn’t always interpret the data correctly.
“Sometimes it’s broken up a like a bad transmission, but most of the time I can hear her,” she said
“It’s just that I got the information wrong. What I find is [that] a doctor can be wrong, a lawyer can be wrong. But a psychic better never be wrong.”
Fair enough. Although I’m glad Browne isn’t my car mechanic or my heart surgeon, in case she misinterpreted Francine’s instructions.
Browne says her most common query is whether the person in question will meet Mr. or Ms. Right. After that, folk are usually seeking spiritual guidance.
No doubt they’ve come to the right place, as Browne is the founder of a church called Society of Novus Spiritus.
Also, she knows what it is like in heaven. According to her book The Other Side and Back, the temperature up there is a balmy 25.6 degrees. And — added bonus — there are pets.
I’m starting to think, as with so many things in life, people will believe what they want to believe. And a believer and his money are soon parted.
Still, after my chat with Browne, I’m starting to change my mind about psychics. That’s because when yours truly asked if he’d ever get a Porsche, she was the bearer of most excellent tidings.
“Yeah, you will,” she said. “It’s not going to be a brand new model. But you’ll get a beautiful one.”
Tickets for Browne’s 7:30 performance tonight at the Royal Theatre are $60, $90 and $125. They can be purchased at the Royal and McPherson box offices or by phoning 250-386-6121.
