MONTREAL - It happens in even the best families.

The conviction last month of Anthony Marshall, son of wealthy New York socialite Brooke Astor, for having her change her will to his benefit when Alzheimer's disease made her incompetent to do so, illustrated yet again how the elderly can be manipulated and abused by those they trust most.

With a massive wealth transfer looming as North American baby boomers inherit the estates of parents who've benefited from extended stock-market, real-estate and economic booms, some will succumb to the temptation to defraud, misdirect and mismanage, and families will be torn asunder because of it.

So how do you ensure your savings stay safe and ultimate wishes are carried out?

There are, in fact, no guarantees.

Ultimately, it will depend on the integrity of those around you.

But there are steps people can take to guide and simplify the process.

Have family members, the more the better, check in regularly on elderly parents, whether in their own homes or facilities for seniors, to ensure they aren't being taken for a ride, or simply neglected.

The likelihood of someone preying on them, at home or elsewhere, increases with isolation.

Enlisting an accountant to prepare tax returns not only improves the likelihood of tax efficiency, but might turn up financial irregularities.

"The accounting profession has started designating people as specialized in elder-care services," noted investment adviser John Archer of RBC Dominion Securities.

Granting a power-of-attorney designation to one or more friends or family members means you'll choose who looks after your affairs if you're away or hospitalized, while you're capable of making your own decisions.

"When they act, it's as if you were there," said Montreal notary Philip Toone.

A mandate of incapacity confers that authority to someone for a period when you're no longer capable of making men tally apt decisions on your own. It's a separate designation requiring a court judgment and supplants power of attorney, which is no longer valid at that point, Toone said.

Having a will means you'll be able to decide how your assets are distributed. (Notarial wills have a central registry and eliminate the need for legal probate after death).

You also get to choose the liquidator, the person (or persons) responsible for winding up your affairs, paying all debts and overseeing the final division of assets.

Best to let them know, and get their assent beforehand, since it's a major responsibility that can take months or even years to complete. And have alternates in mind in case the first choice declines.

Toone recommends always designating an odd number, to avoid possible stalemates.

Be careful about naming people who live in another province or country, since there may be added complications or costs, Archer said.

He suggests choosing a professional liquidator whenever possible, since they're accustomed to the paperwork.

It's also a good idea to tell your family, in person or in writing, how and where you'd like to be sent off.

"Families find it hard to make decisions at that time because it's very emotional for them," said Bridget Fetterly of the Kane & Fetterly Funeral Home.

If you pre-arrange your funeral, you call the shots for your final goodbye. And prepaying it spares that burden for your heirs, or estate.

Just don't leave your funeral instructions in the will.

"Often, the will isn't read until after the funeral," Fetterly noted. "Your family may have cremated you, then find out you wanted to be buried."

pdelean@thegazette.canwest.com

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Grey New World Online

Track the series on our new online page, where you'll find all our stories so far, as well as these online features:

Video: Laura Frontin-Guillemette's life at a different kind of retirement home.

John Archer offering retirement investment advice.

Write in and he'll respond to your questions.

Slide show: Canada's generational shift in pictures.

Reader poll: Offer your vote on questions related to your plans for getting older and exiting the workforce.

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Saturday in the Gazette

Spry and ready to go: For travel agents, hotels, tour operators, airlines, cruise lines, passenger train operators, even aircraft makers, the army of spry boomers expected to flood the travel and tourism industry in the next decades means a huge opportunity, but also a challenge.