Family is love and home and peace. For social creatures like humans, it is a vital part of life and of our existence.
God/ Allah created Adam, and then right after He created Hawaa/ Eve. Why? He in His Almighty Wisdom created them in pairs, as companions, as spouses, as the most simple and basic unit of family.
The Arabic word for kinfolk is the same as the word for womb, and it comes from the same root word as the word for mercy. It is no coincidence considering that these bonds are the examples of some of the greatest and most extraordinary forms of mercy known to humanity. The love of a parent for their child, and vice versa, the love between spouses…humans will move the metaphorical mountain for the love and bond they have between each other.
Through the preservation of the bonds of kinship, a person can find the key to paradise/ Jannah. Through the reverence of these bonds, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told us that our worldly provisions can be increased and our life extended. Time and time again, he reminded us to “uphold the ties of kinship”.
We may ask, but why? Why is this family mentioned so often? Why is the cutting of these ties considered to be such a severe transgression?
It is because a family is like a Lego brick. It is the basic building block of society. It is the incubator and nursery of the citizen: the place where the future population of adults are developed.
A family is where the most basic need of a human is fulfilled: our sense of belonging. The family is the first team/ group that a person belongs to. Family rules are the first set of ‘laws’ that a person must learn and adhere to. That sense of belonging forms the foundation of society. It is the basis of all social skills and interactions with the broader world.
It is at this most basic building block level where the most change can be affected. The smallest detail in values has the power to affect change and manipulate it’s trajectory forever.
A family is like a great cathedral…it is not built in a year, not even in decades, but rather over the course of generations. The family members are the architects; they have the blueprints and will spend hours crafting each detail. But the end result will not be seen for years, if at all in their lifetime. And still, they perfect each minute detail because they see the greater plan.
Allah says that “He placed love and mercy” between spouses. It is a kernel, a seed that manifests in the quick kiss on the way to work, the hug after a long day, the quiet afternoon reading side-by-side on the sofa, or the shared looks while out in the world. And from there it grows: it instills a sense of safety that serves as a base for that family unit. Children grow up surrounded by it and have the confidence to explore the world, knowing that they have that base to return to at any time. They grow up to be teenagers with strong self-esteem, comfortable in their own skin, who then become adults unafraid to step into the unknown.
And it all started with a drop of love and mercy that envelopes a family. That is something worth protecting. The family unit is worth protecting, and through that we are creating a better society.
God/ Allah says: “save yourselves and your families.” We are not told to save society or the country or the world. But rather, He says to just save the family unit. Why? Because that is the basis of it all. By prioritizing our family, we are saving the world.
Maryam Baksh is a graduate from University of British Columbia. She is a member of the Muslim community in Vancouver and a busy young mother.
You can read more articles on our interfaith blog, Spiritually Speaking, at https://www.timescolonist.com/blogs/spiritually-speaking
* This article was published in the print edition of the Times Colonist on Saturday, August 19th 2023
